C/O Conduct towards Inmates and Visitors

[still]

Favored,

Like you, I have never had an issue with any CO's.  I have been visiting and having to call on and off for thirty years, and I was always raised to treat people the way that you would want them to treat you.  So whether they were having a good day or a bad day, enen if I was having the good or bad day, a smile and politeness does go along way.  Over the years, I have watched many things occur, including CO's trying to explain something to a visitor, but because it was not what that person wanted to hear, have their own mini temper tantrum.  So ultimately it works two ways.   

I am just a strong believer in "kill em with kindness".  Compassion and empathy with anyone and everyone works much better than constantly putting people on the defense.

still

[Favored23]

I need to make something clear........ You know, I know that it is hard.  Sometimes they do go out of their ways to be nasty.  When I hear them like that especially early in the a.m. when we first go in for a visit, I say, OKAY, something has triggered them to react like this, your right sometimes we throw our tantrums, but most of the time it is something that might be going on with them.  Some people may think I am crazy when I posted that I hug some of the guards that I have known for a while, the reason I do it is so they know that it is going to be all right. Of course I never initiate it, but the girls that I know hug ME!  Some come to work, like some of us do, mad, upset, hurt and then have to deal with a bunch of stuff there, does it make it right, NO, but can I make it better for at least a moment, of course I can.  I always try to see beyond the nastiness and TRY to help them bring out a smile, that usually heals everything else. 

Again, I know its hard!!!!!!!! Some of them don't want anything to do with us, WHY, clueless, but If I can be LIGHT to them for a little while I will be.  Don't get me wrong, there are time where I just want to SNAP OUT, but I think, I have to come back here, is it worth it??  And then I make eye contact with them so they can look at me and I put on a big smile and a have a nice day attitude and walk away leaving that last impression in their hearts! 

[ielene]

When I visited Stateville, most were very nice, there was ones that took there job to seriously. My granddaughter looked forward to seeing a lot of them. She would get excited and run up and hug them. A few started looking forward to seeing her and would bend down waiting for there hug. I guess it is hard to be nasty when a cute 2 year old is happy to see you in a prison. There was an older lady in the visiting room that would even help me try and entertain her, however there was also one in the visiting area that seemed to want to make sure she had no fun at all. For the most part they were all very nice. I also realize it is a different world for inmates.

[Jims]

I don't have any problems with c/o's on my visits. I'm always polite and cheerful and don't say or do anything to irk them.
 
But I have seen a lot of rudeness aimed at visitors. Sometimes it seems to be a racial thing, though I can't know for sure. Or there may be som personal baggage there that follows the visitor.