Notifying L/O of death in the family

[michpj23]

Hi everyone,

My son's grandmother is in hospice care with not much time left. Thankfully he was able to speak with her a few days ago to say his goodbyes. I am wondering if I am allowed to call the facility where he is at when she does pass away to let him know. Is that possible or do I have to wait until he calls? He usually only calls once a week as that is all I can afford. I have tried searching for it here but couldnt come up with any threads.

[Forevermah]

When she passes, call his counselor and tell her/him and they usually will get the message to them, allowing them to call home so you can talk to them and tell them.  This is one of the only times, they will pass a message to them.

I am so sorry to hear this and you all have my thoughts and prayers during this time!

[michpj23]

Thank you Mah. I knew you would have the answer and thank you too for your thoughts and prayers. This has been a rough year but I am going to take my mom's advice (my son's grandma) and "keep looking up". Thanks again.

[cinlu87]

My husbands Grandfather past away and I called his counselor and was told they would have to verify the death.  Like I would make this up.  Such crap. They did not tell him!!!!   It really ticked me off.  I had to tell him when he called on his normal call day.  So I think you should call the prison and ask.

[shaynsgirl05]

My finace' is in Graham, when my sister passed away I called and talked to a co since it was a weekend and told them that he had a death in the family. They asked me if he had the information to call me and I said yes. He called me about 15 minutes after the guard told him he needed to call home on a emergency.

[blah2u]

we just had this happen to us yesterday.  I called the facility and talked to a CO who said I can call back during the week (today) and talk to his counselor and have the counselor or they can give him a message to call home.  I know my hubby calls everyday but I told the CO tell him to call home and he was able to call home ASAP.  It wasn't even 5 min. after I got off the phone with the CO that my hubby called.  It's a tough situation...stay strong and god bless you and your family during this time.

[RT]

I do have to say that most CO's do have a heart. BUT, there are many who do not. When you call the institution, the phone is ringing into the Armory which is staffed by CO's. When it comes to a death, the ones that ask for verification think their shit does not stink. I always made it a point to locate the inmate's housing unit and ask the officer there to pass the message. A death or impending death is not something that should be taken lightly. I mean after all, it is just a phone call. It is not like you are asking them to release him or anything like that. In situations like this, one would think that the staff would want to know so that the inmate can be observed. You never know what goes through someone's head about losing a loved one and they cannot be close to the family because they are in jail. My prayers are with you and your family through these hard times.


Rick

[Marks_guy]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 

[Nemdf]

We recently had a death, and my sister both called the facility AND sent a FAX giving the info.  When she called the first day, was unable to talk to a counselor, but since they had the FAX, someone had seen our LO the next morning, and when she called that morning, she spoke to the counselor who had visited with him, and the counselor told her a little about their conversation.  Also in a FAX you might be able to put in a few little facts about the situation, if you think it will be helpful or explain things that might be unknown to the inmate. 

[lost222]

Just a side note on this topic, since my LO'd got locked up there have been 3 deaths in the family, 2 completely unexpected and the hardest was expected.  My LO's did not want me to contact the prison on the expected death as he did not want them "watching him" as RT had pointed out.  I have always just waited until he called next time  (twice) or made the trip down to see him the following weekend to tell him in person.  I suppose each inmate is different but my LO's is pretty private and really didnt want the counselor or CO's to know, said it was hard enough to deal with locked up and unable to be here for the family without the prying eye of every CO he comes in contact with daily.

[Still love my son]

I had an URGENT matter one time when my son was in and called and asked for the CHAPLAIN--I just assumed that would be the most compassionate person to speak to.

He listened to my situation and simply went to my sons housing unit and asked him to call home.

Just another suggestions should anyone find themselves in a difficult situation.

SLMS   

[NeddieB]

michpj23 you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  I too believe that if you were to call the facility your son is at that they will pass on the information for him to call you.  Calling the chaplain is a wonderful idea.  I will be praying for you.

[KSwife]

When K's Aunt died, his Mom called Menard and they brought him to the counselors office to call his mom. They even made a direct call for him instead of collect because he was having problems getting through collect. When he hung up the co asked if he was going to be alright and he let them know he would be fine, they left him alone like he wanted after that.

[Eileen33us]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this difficult time.

[jcruz1104]

 
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers!

[siouxchief77]

My prayers are with you I lost my Mother and they would not let us talk to my sister so we called the chaplin and then she could call home,stay strong.

[tess38]

last October when my dad passed i call my husband at graham and told them there was a death in family and it was less then 5 min. and he called ........ hopes and prayers are with u

[jcruz1104]

back in 02 when the kids passed away, we called right to the main number and they were able to get him to a counselors office and call us back. it took no more then 5 minutes to call back. Also becuz of a HUGE misunderstanding (to put in nicely) he was able to call the cell the day of the funeral and listen over the phone. and that was back when (i think) you couldn't call cell phones. he was able  to use the counselors line again. These were special arrangements but maybe if you get lucky and nice c/o and counselors these arrangements can be made if needed,

your family is in our thoughts & prayers.