Theodore Bacino Denied Parole for the 27th Time

[Jims]

BACINO DENIED PAROLE AGAIN

[/size]


~“We wish to at least offer a positive message in this horrible situation in which there are no winners, only losers. Mr. Bacino can do a great deal of good from his prison cell. He is doing what is best for the victim's family, the law enforcement community, and the Rockford area community by serving his sentence honorably. We hope that he will be willing and allowed to offer the benefit of his experiences over the years to other, younger offenders.  In the remaining years, it is best to focus on supporting the needs of the family that still suffers from the trauma of all this. Many of us who are victims of traumatic loss understand that often the best way to respond to tragedy is to focus on being of service and helping others like us.”[/b]

The above paragraph was written by a victims advocate. There are no programs in place in Illinois prisons to allow older long-term inmates to “…offer the benefit of his experiences over the years to other, younger offenders.”

Mr. Bacino will simply rot away until he dies behind bars. The author of the above passage knows that, but in writing what she wrote, it can make her appear big-hearted and generous to those who don’t know her. 

I continue to be amazed at the lack of understanding exhibited by victims’ family members.  When a tragic loss happen, innocent people suffer and lives are forever altered, families are torn asunder. That’s a fact of life. And tragic losses come in all forms, all sizes. I seem to remember reading at the beginning of Bill Jenkins’ book, What to Do When The Police Leave, that “Traumatic loss – whether by homicide, car crash, suicide, accident, or any other factor, is a shocking, life-changing tragedy which leads to a roller coaster ride of emotions, events and feelings.”

Traumatic events change our lives forever. Days are spent differently, innocence can be lost forever, faith can be questioned or abandoned. I don’t know of anyone who hasn’t experienced some sort of traumatic loss. I do know of families who have lost loved ones prematurely both to illness (or car accidents) and also to homicide, and the pain they experience is the same.  They experience an anger (sometimes temporary, sometimes not) at their God for taking their loved one too soon; they experience a loss of innocence in knowing that they (or another loved one) can be stricken with a fatal illness at any time and die; they experience a loss of innocence in knowing that they (or another loved one) can be the victim of a homicide at any time. They grieve for the loved one they miss. They mourn family events their loved ones will miss. They mourn the children and grandchildren their loved ones will never experience.

The one group of “victims” who receive no sympathy and are often completely overlooked in the hierarchy of victimhood, are those who have lost loved ones to long-term prison sentences. These people suffer as well.  They experience the sleepless nights, the gut-wrenching emotional roller coaster. The anger at their loved ones for committing a crime and putting their family in financial ruin, upending their lives, changing their lives. The disbelief, the sorrow; not knowing what to do; wanting to be supportive but at the same time wanting to slap the crap out of their son/brother/husband; the physical and psychological pain; the humiliation; rejection; ongoing depression and anxiety.   Like the victims’ family members, inmates’ family members, too, are innocent and do not “deserve” the pain. 

They are expected to accept the prison sentence and accompanying loss of their loved one and to deal with it. There is tacit understanding that these people somehow deserve it just a little bit more than the victims’ family members who are the only “true” innocents.  The community supports the poor victims’ family members and opens their hearts to their plight. They shun offender families and turn a deaf ear to their plight.

The C# prisoners who were sentenced with the understanding that as long as they served their time honorably and without further criminal activity they would someday earn their parole should be given that opportunity.  Parole should not be denied because victims’ family members continue to say they remain traumatized by an event that happened 33 years ago. Likewise, community support from people who don’t know Mr. Bacino and don’t even know the victims’ family members should carry minimal weight after 30+ years of incarceration. When Mr. Bacino had his first parole hearing after only 9 years, the family of his victim as well as the public at large had every right to ask that he not be released. The man is 71 years old now. He is not a risk to society. He has served more time than some of the most notorious killers of our time. And he has served his time well and done the hard work of transformation.

If he were to be released, one set of family members would rejoice and would be able to begin to put their family and their lives back together again. Another family will not get that opportunity ever because Mr. Bacino murdered their family member.  But doesn’t it seem a little selfish of one set of family members to want the other family to continue to suffer? Is the attitude, “We have to continue to suffer so you should continue to suffer, too” the right one?

Shouldn’t we want to create less suffering for our fellow human beings wherever we can?

I just don’t understand.

[Sister]

What a fantastic essay, Jims, and so true.  At 71 years old, keeping the man in prison?!  It is crazy! 

I wish this essay could be in newspapers all over the world.  You know what we inmate family members go through, so well.  I couldn't have said it any better myself.....(or put it in those words.........that is exactly how I feel.)

 

"They are expected to accept the prison sentence and accompanying loss of their loved one and to deal with it. There is tacit understanding that these people somehow deserve it just a little bit more than the victims’ family members who are the only “true” innocents.  The community supports the poor victims’ family members and opens their hearts to their plight. They shun offender families and turn a deaf ear to their plight. "

That is SO true.......Thank you Jims, for telling it like it is.

[momm316]

I was amazed when my son applied for clemency at the hate letters he received from members
of the victim's family.  Letters telling him that they hoped he stayed in prison for the rest of his
life. 

At the clemency hearing, the mother of the victim talked about how my son robbed her family
of any association with their son and she resented the fact that we can still see our son.   I know
that, but no amount of anger on her part can ever bring her son back, nor can keeping my son
incarcerated for his entire life help her either.  The only thing her anger is doing is eating away
at her stomach lining and someday she will not only have pain in her heart, but physical pain as
well.

I have prayed for many years for peace for the victims family and for them to understand how
to forgive.  My son has asked for forgiveness from them and been admonished with anger. 
There is nothing more we can do except pray for their health and for their hearts to be softened.

It is hard for some people to understand that people change.  My son is not the same person that
entered prison 20 years ago.  I am not the same person that I was 20 years ago, neither is the
victims family the same.  Only God's love remains constant and never changes.

I know the Bacino story and saw the petitions being circulated when he was approaching
the parole time again.  For the last six months it has been in the spotlight in Rockford and fliers
posted all over to sign petitions against him.  It's unreal how politics plays such a crucial role in
releases and convictions.  When we were working on the petition for clemency for my son, I
spoke to our states attorney who told me that because it was such a high profile case, he would
never get clemency.  Politics.  Maybe that's why I couldn't get him transferred to a medium...
Politics.  Interesting.

[Lissa]

What an essay Jims but what is he doing for our community locked up. The only reason he got so much time is because the death was that of a police man and my heart goes out to this man but my ex-boyfriend just went to prison for stranging a woman and is a repeat offender for jail time with a lengthy record with domestic battery and such and he only got 30 and has to serve all of it. I am part of this community and I think that he would better serve our community by getting out and being a maybe of society and maybe working with pursuading people not to do wrongs and what prison is really like.

[jewels]

Momm, my heart goes out to you, caught in the middle between knowing what your son has done to another family and loosing your own son to the prison system. You are such a wonderful lady, giving so much support to so many other inmates . I wish I could make it all better for you somehow.

[momm316]

It's amazing the peace we have received within ourselves.  Please don't feel sorry for us.  Feel sorry for those
that haven't learned how to forgive and pray that they can learn.  The Lord promises that good things will come
to those who wait.  So we wait.  God Bless, Momm

[muah]

I think that you write an interesting argument.  However...I am not "bought".

I dont expect understanding from the "victims' family...or anyone.  I am sticking with my boyfriend out of love for him.  And why should anyone support me.  This is my choice.

I am very sorry but I see no comparison between the family of a murder victim and the family of the person who choose to take a life of another.

I understand that they have pain and sadness.  But that sadness does not mean that the inmate should be granted less punishment.  The family of the victim does not get a chance to grant life. 

I don't like to judge...but I am not seeing the point that is trying to be made.   I would never dare to ask the family or loved ones of a victim of murder or rape to ever try and find compassion for the man or woman that committed such acts.  Why would people ever be shocked at their lack of compassion?  There is a difference between their sadness and ours.  I will never compare mine to theirs. 

My boyfriend allowed drugs to dictate his actions.  He made bad choices.  He messed up.  He now needs to deal with it.  And no one should feel sorry for him or me. Even if he is doing more time than necessary.  He legitimatly got screwed for political reasons.  But I dont need sympathy...and either does he..  As far as I am concerned I feel as if he should never have been such an idiot to allow himself to be invlved in the first place.

I know I always sound like such a hard ass on this.  But I do feel strongly about it.  I hold myself to a high standard, and I do not understand why others do not.  We all have an equal opportunity to have the utmost respect for ourselves and actions. 

[dancer]

I remember a sermon by a minister who had been in prison  4 times.  He talked about God requiring forgiveness from us,  and that if we do not forgive,  it blocks the path of communication from God.  We can't be in God's grace and hate at the same time. 
The Bible states that we will be judged by the same measure by which we judge others.  In other words,  if we are harsh in our judgement,  God will be harsh in judging us. 
I know if someone viciously murdered someone I loved,  I would be very very angry at them and wish revenge.  I just hope that in time I would be able to forgive them.   I also feel that circumstances could happen to many of us,  that we could take the life of another,  without intending to,  especially in a vehicle accident.

[momm316]

I have tried for many years to understand that if it had been my son who had been killed if I could be forgiving.  I cannot truthfully answer that because I am not in that situation.  I would hope that if the criminal turned his life around and asked for forgiveness, that I could forgive.   I found a great website that is hosted by victims some of whom have forgiven and they are finally at peace.  It is:  Journey of Hope.org    Their homepage says,  "Journey of Hope...from Violence to Healing is an organization led by murder victim family members joined by death row family members, family members of the executed, the exonerated, and others with stories to tell, that conducts public education speaking tours and addresses alternatives to the death penalty.

Journey Storytellers come from all walks of life and represent the full spectrum and diversity of faith, color and economic situation. They are Real People who know first hand the aftermath of the insanity and horror of murder. They have Real Stories that recount their tragedies, and their struggles to heal as a way of opening dialog on the death penalty in schools, colleges, churches and other venues.

The Journey spotlights Real People with Real Stories. Some choose not to seek revenge, and instead select the path of love and compassion for all of humanity. Some see forgiveness as strength and as a way of healing. Others come by different paths. Listen to the Voices of Experience because all reject the Death Penalty as Bad Public Policy and believe..."  Although not all of the people represented on this website have chosen to forgive; those who have forgiven,  tell a story of peace and recovery.

One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 18:21-22  Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord,  how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"  "No," Jesus replied.  "seventy times seven." 

In the days when Jesus walked the Earth, the Rabbi's taught their people that they should forgive those who offend them...but only three times.  Peter, trying to be generous,  asked Jesus if seven (the "perfect" number) was enough times to forgive someone.  But Jesus answered, "seventy times seven,"  meaning that we shouldn't keep track of how many times we forgive someone.  We should always forgive those who are truly repentant, no matter how many times they ask. 

I have no clue what Mr. Bacino's attitude is, or if he has sincerely asked for forgiveness, and it's not my place to judge him.  He will be judged someday by the one who really counts.

Isn't it wonderful that we all can share our opinions and do it in a way that expresses our love for each other.   If we were all clones, it would be a boring world.  May you be blessed today!  In Him, Momm316

[dancer]

Inmate families often get shunned and treated poorly as if they were also responsible for what the guilty person did.  This whole web site is support for the families and friends of inmates!   They do need help and support. 

[jewels]

Within our site we  have people who are also familes of victims. When we are involved with an inmate I think it is important that we acknowledge that because we have had a few people who are both families of inmates and victims. Momm makes a very valid point.